Some of my favourites are from Bjarne Stroustrup.
There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses
I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.
And of course my favourite:
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.
I’m sure the Aussies, the South Africans, the Indians and some Canadians will thank you too.
I would have quoted Linus Torvalds as well, but I can barely find 3 decent quotes that don’t contain swears.