Collection of tech related jokes for the Pokitto Magazine #2

A simple way to figure out what world you’ve stumbled into:

#include <stdio.h>

int main()
{
	if(sizeof(' ') == sizeof(char))
		puts("You're using C++.");
	else
		puts("You're using C. (Please stop.)");
		
	if(sizeof(char) == sizeof(int))
		puts("By the way, your compiler is non-conformant.");
}

Try it…
As C++: https://rextester.com/RGRL92648
As C: https://rextester.com/GXIM92129


Edit:
Now I think about it, technically a compiler where sizeof(char) == sizeof(int) would actually be conformant, but it would be a very weird environment indeed.

3 Likes

image Old Macdonald had a port, IEEE I/O image

3 Likes
#include <iostream>
#include <cmath>

int main()
{
    float n = -std::sqrt(-1.00);

    for(int i = 0; i < 11; ++i)
        std::cout << n << ' ';

    std::cout << "Batman!";
}

Try it online: https://rextester.com/PPJZ67638

4 Likes

That was a good one!

Back in the day, we used to say “EIA I/O” but since that organisation no longer exists… :cry:

Are we talking hand soldered, hand drawn circuit boards? They always look cool :sunglasses:
image

3 Likes

Yes, I hand taped or altered a few boards. Black tape for single sided. Red and blue transparent for double sided.

2 Likes

I laughed so hard at this old mac Donald joke that my toddler was seriously concerned for my well being :rofl:

2 Likes

computer joke? :slight_smile:

C++

2 Likes

All C vs. C++ joke slots fulfilled, on to the next joke

Edit: great to see you again @drummyfish!

2 Likes

Java

Windows, Android, Unity, KDE, GNOME, systemd, the Linux foundation, lol websites are programs and also anything after 2010 (Pokitto is an exception of course) :slight_smile:

Glad to see you too :slight_smile: I’m not creating much but am lurking.

Another (very) stupid joke:
Why make a 9-bit game instead of an 8-bit game?
Because it would be a bit better…

I’ll get me coat…

8 Likes

Q: what is a quantum computer used for?
A: playing Pole Superposition

3 Likes

Speaking of quantum computers…

The problem with quantum computers is that when you put them in a box to sell them they have a habit of being simultaneously on and off.

1 Like

A couple of classic Bjarne Stroustrup quotes:

And one I found lying around on my hard drive:
TwoStates

3 Likes

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

3 Likes

Should it be 10 kinds?

2 Likes

01001001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00101110 :grin:

Typo, I blame my phone :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

1 Like